Member-only story
Can I Ask About Your Height on Tinder?
There’s a double standard on what men and women are allowed to look for in online dating.
I’m 5'8", and I put it in my Tinder profile. I do this because I like tall guys. Not crazy tall, just taller than I am (I live in Argentina, so it’s not a given).
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being shorter than 5'8". I know my preference is superficial and probably mostly related to my adolescent eating disorders and trauma that made me want to be physically small. I have nothing against women going for guys that are shorter. This is not rational, it’s just what I’m drawn to. I also like guys with glasses, and I wouldn’t go out with a smoker.
What I usually do on Tinder is get the question out of the way before a date, because I know from experience I don’t want to waste both our time and money if I already know I’m just not going to feel it. However, I’ve noticed that some guys get really mad about it. Sometimes they’ll even call me shallow, or ugly, or fat, and cancel the match. Others are more well-behaved.
A coworker I talked about this with told me I’m ‘idealizing’ men, placing unfair expectations on them. Ironically, he’s also a Tinder user, picking his dates based on their looks.
