Guys, Don’t Be This Guy

Desperation, aggressiveness or getting creepy aren’t great strategies for online dating.

Photo by felipepelaquim on Unsplash

I’ve been leaving my Tinder account alone for the past several months because I’m dating someone I actually like. I didn’t know what happens when I leave the platform, and how desperate guys get when they don’t get the answer they’re expecting.

Getting aggressive

First, there was the man, in his late forties, divorced and a parent, who I’d had a brief, basic conversation with and forgotten because of the guy I’m dating. I’d said “yeah, sure” to his invitation for a cup of coffee, because he seemed normal and inoffensive. Being divorced and having a kid is also, in my book, a sign of someone who’s not afraid of commitment.

He had decided to prove me wrong, though.

While I’d been away, this guy had decided to write me every single day. And if I didn’t answer, it must mean that I was intentionally being mean.

Here are the messages, with my comments in bold.

“Hey, what’s up? (Just living my life, I guess.)

Hi, how are you doing? (Not on Tinder, so probably great.)

Hi, why aren’t you answering my messages? (Because I’m not reading them.)