So You Guys Really Just Loved Elon Because He Was a White Dude, Huh?

The harsh truth.

Taru Anniina Liikanen

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Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

I’ve rarely been as entertained as I’ve been the last week, watching the full unraveling of the Elon Musk Twitter purchase and the genius myth he’s built around his persona.

I’m not proud of how petty I am. But boy, am I petty.

It’s just hard not to notice how goddamn validating it is when the fanboys struggle to explain why this was actually the real plan all along.

It’s not that he just trolled himself into the worst investment ever and is consistently making things worse. Elon is actually WiNnInG so hard you’ve never seen anyone win so hard before.

I just can’t look away from this dumpster fire.

Dude, What Did I Just Buy?

The biggest issue right now seems to be that Musk has no idea what he bought for a massively inflated price.

He didn’t realize that Twitter is not really a tech company but a social network, and the only way to make real money with a social network is through the users. By selling them things, mostly ads.

Social networks make money through advertising, and Twitter has never really made a lot of money compared to Facebook, Google or TikTok. It’s toxic, and doesn’t even have that many users.

Twitter is a microcosm of chronically online people, such as myself — I have an excuse for it in my day job, though.

But Twitter isn’t the place where most people hang out. It’s mostly not fun, and it’s not comforting. You don’t share family pictures there. You don’t go there for funny cat videos or pictures of girls in bikinis.

Well, you can. I recommend We Rate Dogs, by far the best Twitter account of all time. Just look at this little fella.

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Taru Anniina Liikanen

Stand-up comedian and recovering political ghostwriter. Finnish by birth, porteña at heart. Bad jokes frequent.